From D to A+ (What I learned from my old student K)

Back in college, I worked part-time as a private tutor for younger kids, usually around age 12-15. I can't say I had a very good methodology in teaching, but at least I was very sincere in delivering what I knew. Since I've never bought the idea that good grades/good schools wil secure one's life forever (I'm the living proof), I also made sure that my students shouldn't believe that, either.

Most kids needing private tutors are doing quite much below average level. K was no different, particularly for he was in a famous elite private school his parents thought were the most academically demandig and thus best for him. He was always either the No.1 or 2 in grades, counting backwards from the 40 –something pupils in his class. While I tried to customized my method for him to make things easy for him to absorb (mostly simple drills that you could memorize by reading them out loud several times),he could not apply the logic to his far more advanced curriculum.

I could see that he was doing his best to keep his focus, but his schoolwork and pushy teachers wore him out during the day and left him with very little energy to learn my stuff. Feeling his pain, I even did quite a few his homework for him; I've completed his biology and chemistry workbooks, helped him review his history exam sheet, wrote poses mimicking his way of writing, etc.

Although with his very limited success in school, he still had interest in learning (just not English lol). Thus I tried to leave some time in each class to teach him whatever he was attracted to, for example, guitar, historical events and Japanese (because he loved Japanese manga). He seemed to be fond of Japanese a bit more, so I brought him Japanese textbook for beginners. I told him that to me it didn't matter how he did in school now, but it's important that he had genuine interest in something.

After he graduated from junior high, our lessons ended, but we kept in touch. He became more and more into learning Japanese and signed up for courses by his own will. He even went on to study abroad in Japan, spending one year in a language school and was admitted to Nihon University in Tokyo last fall, majoring in business administration. He called me last night and told me about how he had survived in the dozen of reports he had to submit in the first semester in an all-Japanese environment; He also picked up Shamisen (a traditional Japanese instrument> course in Japan and has been learning for more than a year. He made a few friends at school and the Shamisen class, and often times people don't even realize his is a foreigner because of his fluency in Japanese.

This drastic change and persistence was never what I anticipated back when I taught him. I told him, "you had not only become a totally new person for the sake of himself, but also an inspiration to me. Sometimes we are just so used to what we do on a daily basis without even questioning or pursuing what our real passion is. You demonstrated that change IS possible, and I thank you for that." He said he still had the Japanese notes that I wrote for him in class and that he was still moved when he read the notes again.

As I have helped K in the past, he also helped me realize that it doesn't matter what you choose as a career path, but you have to put all your effort in one that you are passionate about, again, unless you want to keep complaining or feeling numb about your job for many years to come. I've seen so many people feel that way and believe it's because of the external environment, not they themselves, even until the end of their lives.

So thanks for helping me out, K. And I wish we don't ever stop our separate quests for life.

From pain we grow (unless you want to stay the same for the rest of your life)

When do you know for sure you are really lack of any self-discipline whatsover? When your blog is titled "A journey of discpline training" and the last record of your self-training journal was made more than a year ago :)

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I remember this one line by Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail: "people always say that change is a good thing, but what it really means is that something that you didn't want to happen, has happened."

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Today I bumped into something like this as well. I won't go into the exact details, but I can say that this wake up call really choked me. I felt like someone was squeezing the organs inside my chest cavity like what you woul do with lemons.

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While I mourned for the irreversible fate, I also realized that I'm the one that has to be responsible for myself. How easy it is for us to blame other factors than ourselves for our problems.

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In my short 28.5 years so far, I have to honestly admit that I didn't improve much at all. And if I don't take active measure to implement what I want to do, chances are I'll be the same for another 10 or 20 years like this. Probably even more, juding from the examples I've witnessed.

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I thank all the shit that is happening for letting me see this, and now I can say loudly to them with my eyes wide open: BRING IT ON! Experiencing something that you didn't want to happen really IS a blessing (unless you don't care about staying the same for the rest of your life)