When do you know for sure you are really lack of any self-discipline whatsover? When your blog is titled "A journey of discpline training" and the last record of your self-training journal was made more than a year ago :)
I remember this one line by Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail: "people always say that change is a good thing, but what it really means is that something that you didn't want to happen, has happened."
Today I bumped into something like this as well. I won't go into the exact details, but I can say that this wake up call really choked me. I felt like someone was squeezing the organs inside my chest cavity like what you woul do with lemons.
While I mourned for the irreversible fate, I also realized that I'm the one that has to be responsible for myself. How easy it is for us to blame other factors than ourselves for our problems.
In my short 28.5 years so far, I have to honestly admit that I didn't improve much at all. And if I don't take active measure to implement what I want to do, chances are I'll be the same for another 10 or 20 years like this. Probably even more, juding from the examples I've witnessed.
I thank all the shit that is happening for letting me see this, and now I can say loudly to them with my eyes wide open: BRING IT ON! Experiencing something that you didn't want to happen really IS a blessing (unless you don't care about staying the same for the rest of your life)
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